(RNS) — I used to be speaking with a Roman Catholic-raised good friend who now not practices the faith of his youth. At a sure level within the dialog, he snorted about “cafeteria Catholics,” which sardonically describes those that adhere to components of Catholic teachings or apply sure rituals, however dissent from others.
It made me understand I’m a “cafeteria Jew.”
Which brings me to Kate Mishkin, the creator of a compelling podcast with an enviable pun as its title, “Shofar, So Good.”
In her podcast, she engages in considerate, gutsy conversations about weighty topics like prayer, loss of life and forgiveness.
In our “Martini Judaism” podcast interview, we discuss her childhood rising up with interfaith mother and father and within the faith of what individuals name “Jewish values.” And we take a deep dive into what these values is perhaps.

Kate Mishkin. (Picture by Kim Silverstein)
We additionally discuss her life as a journalist, dwelling and dealing in quite a lot of locations, however particularly in Charleston, West Virginia, which isn’t precisely the Tel Aviv (and even Haifa) of America, however a spot the place she discovered herself Jewishly, largely by way of the assistance of a outstanding rabbi in that neighborhood.
We additionally discuss a number of the crazier issues she has coated as a journalist, like a household that offered bleach as a false remedy for COVID-19 and an obscure cult chief. However largely, we discuss what it means for her to say her Jewish identification, to really feel a part of the traditional, ever-evolving story, and to make it her personal.
Kate hit me with a metaphor I by no means thought-about earlier than. She described herself as strolling alongside the seashores of the world with a metallic detector, sifting by way of the sand trying to find Jewish objects and concepts. She is aware of there are lots of seashores on the earth and an entire lot of sand. These objects and concepts are not often just under the floor, however discovered a number of inches deeper. It means there’s quite a lot of work to do.
This can be a metaphor for Judaism I occur to like. We as soon as may need imagined that Judaism involves us as a totally wrapped bundle, and all now we have to do is open it up and there it’s — a full-blown identification. Not anymore.
By this lens, Judaism might be considered as a set of selections we make. Nearly every single day, we curate our Jewish identities and make which means of them. This implies sure issues get in — say, Shabbat, Passover and social justice — however different issues wind up on the again burner, possibly protecting kosher or constructing a sukkah.
Some would possibly cynically name that “cafeteria Judaism,” and they might not be incorrect.
The reality is, I don’t know any Jew, even the seemingly most pious, who takes on the whole thing of the custom. We’re at all times selecting and selecting. You possibly can additionally name it Israeli lodge breakfast buffet Judaism — the place you stroll by way of the road, see what is out there, see what appears to be like good, take it again to your desk and revel in it.
However crucial factor is these selections usually are not static. Simply as you’ll be able to attempt many alternative meals over a multiday keep at a lodge, you would possibly attempt many alternative issues over the course of a Jewish life.
Let’s put it one other manner. A few years in the past, Rabbi Arnold Jacob Wolf talked about what it means to decide on Jewish concepts and observances. He known as it “Judaism Avenue”:
“I attempt to stroll the highway of Judaism. Embedded in that highway there are lots of jewels. One is marked ‘Sabbath,’ and one ‘Civil Rights’ and one ‘kashrut’ and one ‘Honor Your Dad and mom’ and one ‘Examine of Torah’ and one ‘You Shall Be Holy.’ There are at the least 613 of them, and they’re of various sizes and shapes and weights. Some are gentle and straightforward for me to select up, and I decide them up. Some are too deeply embedded for me, thus far at the least, although I get a bit stronger by making an attempt to extricate the jewels as I stroll the road. Some, maybe, I shall by no means have the ability to decide up. I consider that God expects me to maintain on strolling Judaism Avenue and to hold away no matter I can of its commandments. I don’t consider that God expects me to raise what I can’t, nor could I condemn my fellow Jew who could not have the ability to decide up whilst a lot as I can.”
All of it is dependent upon the angle with which you undergo the buffet, or journey down Judaism Avenue or stroll alongside the seashore in search of treasures within the sand.
As for me, my angle has at all times been curiosity, openness and a willingness to provide my custom the good thing about the doubt.
Hearken to Kate Mishkin, and be taught from her.